So today I spent entirely too much time on my local "mommy forum" in the section known as the "sandbox." That's what they call the forum in which you're actually allowed to talk about sensitive or controversial topics. Have to keep it separate dontcha know, just to make sure people who might get offended have fair warning...
So there was a thread in there about "political confusion" today, and the original poster wanted to know whether people call themselves middle-of-the-road when they really aren't. Well that topic was sort of interesting, so I bit. I gave the usual answer about how I don't think it's the labels that confuse people, it's the stereotypes associated with them, the misunderstandings about what the parties or terms stand for, etc...
And along the way, someone posted how they didn't really know what either party stood for really, but they would probably identify themselves Democrat if polled because (how did she put it?) she was nowhere near close to EVER indentifying Republican.
On the surface, seems innocent enough, but then I thought about it...This woman says she knows nothing about what each party stands for or what their platforms are. So I had to wonder, why have such an extreme visceral reaction to the very thought of identifying (ick) "Republican," like it's a dirty word.
So I asked her, and for context, I put in a bit about how I had researched the Democratic party recently and even though I'm independent, couldn't identify with them, but I had reasons, and amonst them I cited what I consider to be their current "socialist" leanings. I was referring to policies and politicians remember, not voters and "beliefs," but let's not let facts confuse the woman who posted the next response.
She took such offense at being called "socialist," you'd have thought I called her a child abuser! In defense of the Democrats, she posted a list of "core beliefs" of her party and demanded to know which among them were consistent with socialist beliefs. Leaving aside the fact that they are probably all consistent to a certain degree with "beliefs" held by socialists, the list itself was laughable. I wanted to fisk it right there in the forum, but hey, I have to live here, our kids might meet on the playground, who knows?
But out here, nothing can stop me from doing what simply MUST be done! So here goes...
Atlanta, Georgia (PRWEB) April 7, 2006 -- There is a question that always comes up in political circles: What does the Democratic Party stand for? Every Democrat knows in his or her heart exactly what we stand for, but we often find it hard to put all our values and everything we believe into a few words.We are Pro-Constitution of the United States of America:
As horrific as 9/11 was, it did not repeal our constitution. The unpatriotic "Patriot Act" is impeding our constitutional civil rights
We are Pro-Democracy: Even as we impose Democracy in foreign lands, we should not forego our own. Every Citizen should have the right to vote, and the right to have their vote counted.Key word? "CITIZEN!" Every citizen does have the right to vote, but illegal aliens aren't citizens. I know you'd LIKE them to be, but they are not, therefore they do not have the right to vote. As for having votes counted, every citizen has a right to have his or her vote counted--ONE TIME. Not again and again and again until the results are what your party wants them to be, and not again if you screw up and pick the wrong candidate because you're too stupid to read the ballot correctly or ask questions if you're confused. And you sure as hell don't have a right to vote AGAIN if you're just "not sure" you voted for the right person. One person, one vote. Nothing "anti-democracy" about that. Democracy is based on LAWS, and some of them govern elections. Get used to it and get over it. Time.To.Move.On.
We are Pro-Civil Rights: Equal Opportunity and Dignity for ALL Americans, without biases. You are either for equal rights or you're against equal rights. Equal means equal, for everyone.Yes, that's right! Equal means equal, RIGHTS that is, not OUTCOMES! Affirmative action IS bias. It does not apply to "everyone" therefore it is not "EQUAL." So I guess you guys are really anti-equal rights, or is that pro-bias, I can't tell. But weren't we supposed to be talking about "Civil" rights, not equal rights? I'm so confused....
We are Pro-Free Speech: Putting down debate and discourse is unpatriotic!So sayeth the party of Code Pink, the girls who storm public hearings and Congress yelling at the top of their lungs so no one can hear the speaker. So sayeth the party of the students at UT Austin who verbally assaulted Ann Coulter and tried to make it impossible for others to hear her speak?
I get it. Freedom of speech is fine, when it's speech you agree with. Otherwise it's perfectly "patriotic" to censor it.
We are Pro-Small Business and Individual Opportunity: While maintaining an environment for ethical large corporate profitability.The line should go on "We just want small businesses to pay out the ass in wages and benefits even if it means they'll go under or be forced to sell out to the large corporations (who give us nice big fat checks too!)"
We are Pro-compassion and dignified assistance for the disadvantaged: Do not preclude helping the needy because a few abuse the system. Help enable the disadvantaged to become self sufficient.Of course by "disadvantaged" we mean anyone who doesn't feel like working, who's "depressed," has a hangnail, would prefer to spend their time doing drugs, milking the system, having illegitimate kids, or just watching soaps on TV. And by "self-sufficient" we really mean completely dependent upon us and the taxes we impose on people other than you.
We are Pro-Inclusiveness, and Anti-Divisiveness: Strength of the Nation AND Strength of the Community.This is just code for "LET'S HEAR IT FOR HYPHENS!" By community of course we mean ethnicity. This is just a way we cleverly disguise our desire to balkanize the nation into ever smaller special interest groups to whom we can pander for votes.
We are Pro-Religious Freedom and Separation of Church and State: Following the guidelines of our founding fathers.Of course we mean "guidelines' in the loosest sense of the term. We know better than the founding fathers in fact, and we're sure Jefferson was being LITERAL when he used the metaphor of a "wall" of separation, even though no such wall existed until Justice Hugo Black put it there! Just as long as we're clear that it is a WALL of separation. Oh, unless you're Muslim, in which case we might make an exception. We'll see. It all depends if we continue to believe kissing your butts exclusively will get us off the infidel hit-list. As it now stands, it's looking good for Sharia law in the next decade or so!
We are Pro-International Leadership, lead by example and via “international alliances”: Better through UN and NATO than aggressive unilateralism.In other words, lie down and play dead and maybe the bad men will go away. Whatever you do, if the bully in the schoolyard says he's gonna kick your ass at recess, be sure to give him your lunch money ahead of time. This way, even if he still kicks your ass, at least the change in your pockets won't leave a bruise when you fall on it.
We are Pro-Strong Military and Defense: Support the people who defend our values with their life and limb. Develop military solutions in balance with the threats.We're not even sure what this means. It sounds good thought doesn't it? Of course it's predicated on the theory that all threats we face are really figments of George Bush's imagination, because a solution in balance with the threat of Global Islamofascism would probably require us to actually kill people somewhere, sometime, and killing people is baaaaad. Our military shouldn't have to do that. They should just walk around in those cute uniforms carrying unloaded weapons, like our heroes at the UN.
We are Pro-Homeland Security: Train, equip and fund our “first responders”.Because everyone knows the only way to be "secure" is to make sure the rescuers can get to us a little faster after we're attacked!
We are Pro-Fiscal Responsibility: Mortgaging our future by uncontrolled deficit spending is bad policy.I mean, we're for it for OTHER people. You know, "rich" white people and republicans. Lord knows the shit they want isn't worth spending money on. But if a bunch of poor people or illegal aliens need something, we'll borrow to give it to them! You betcha! No cuts to social programs for us! Just get rid of all that expensive military stuff. Who needs it anyway? We have no enemies, at least none that won't stop hating us the minute Bush is out of office!
We are Pro-Women's Health and Pro-Planned Parenthood: Respect women’s rights. Respect the right for women and doctors to make health decisions without legal intervention. Focus on health, education, and prevention of unwanted pregnancies.Of course we mean Pro-Planned Parenthood the ORGANIZATION. Did you think we meant pro-birth control or pro-adoption? Heck no! If someone wants to use abortion as birth control, that's fine by us. If a woman decides in her eighth month that she's just too busy to have a baby and wants her doctor to terminate the pregnancy for her, and he's willing to say her "health" is threatened because she might have an anxiety attack if she has to give birth, who are we to argue? And when we say "woman" we really mean "anyone with ovaries who's ever had a period," because we wouldn't want to give the impression we wouldn't support the rights of minor girls to skip out of school to get abortions without their parents knowledge. What's a little surgery on a child without parental consent when we all agree politically, right? After all, we're Democrats. We know what's best for other people's children don't we?
We are Pro-Civil Unions: Dignity, Respect and equal opportunity without judgment.We'd say we're pro-gay marriage, but then we might get "judged" and lose votes, so we've toned it down a bit, but you all know what we really mean, right? *wink*
We are Pro-Environment: For our health safety and enjoyment; our children’s health safety and enjoyment; and the rights of future generations!Those filthy Republicans! They just love pollution, they roll around in it like the stinking capitalist pigs they really are. Not us, we are clean. We only fly in our private jets and drive in our SUVs and yachts on odd number days, because we care!
We are Pro-Gun Control: Controlled, trackable access to guns for self defense and sporting needs.Of course we reserve the right to decide who really "needs" self defense and sporting guns. Basically the police, movie stars and their bodyguards and criminals. If you're an average law-abiding citizen, you don't really "need" a gun now do you?
We are Pro-Education: We support a strong Public School system and access to higher education.Did we say "strong?" What we really mean is "powerful." Can't have any other educational entity having anything close to the spirit-crushing strength of the public school system! And as for access to higher education, what we really mean here is that SAT tests and grades shouldn't get in the way of a kid's dream of college! And if he or she is a member of a minority group or "protected class," access should be even easier!
We are Pro-Workers' Rights: We support the right to organize and negotiate for fair wages and a healthy and safe workplace, without the fear of losing your job.Unless of course you don't WANT to organize and negotiate through a union, in which case you should defintely fear losing your job you capitalist scum! You must work for Wal-Mart!
Did I miss anything??
Is it me, or is that list the biggest piece of fluff garbage you've ever read? Then I checked the DNC website for their actual platform, and I couldn't find it! No joke. They haven't got one! Go check, please, prove me wrong! I wish they did, then I'd be better able to prepare myself for what or who might be "leading" us after the November elections.
Posted by insomnomaniac at August 30, 2006 10:21 PM | TrackBack