insomnomaniac

Prozac or Passion?

How much do you wanna bet this woman killed her husband in a fit of psychosis brought on by the improper use or discontinuation of use of an anti-depressant?

Why am I guessing this? Well let's see:

• She had a baby just over a year ago and is, therefore, a possible PPD patient


• There is no history of drug, alcohol or domestic abuse on her or her husband's part


• They have the seemingly "perfect" life


• We just saw a case of a similiarly bizarre and sudden family-on-family slaying that turned out to be a case of depression and anti-depressant-induced psychosis

I hate to sound like Tom Cruise, because I think he's an asshole, but it's a little disturbing that we are seeing more and more of these sudden-for-no-apparent-reason killings by the most unlikely of suspects, and all too often they are linked to the medication the person is taking.

Now I'm not typically a person who buys into the whole "It's not my fault, xyz made me do it" defense, but if this does turn out to be a case in which anti-depressants figure prominently, I won't be surprised. People can sing the praises of psycho-pharmacology all day long, but I say BEWARE. Yes, it works for some people, but for many it does nothing or wreaks havoc, even kills.

I didn't kill anyone, or myself, but I had a bad experience with three different anti-depressants. Whenever I see stories about people going berzerk while taking them I think "there but for the grace of God go I." My step-mom died and for 6 weeks I seemed "fine." Then the first day of week 7, I fell apart. I literally didn't get out of bed for two days. Blew off work, blew off everything and everyone. Friends, family and my boss thought I'd run away or died. People were banging on my door and I still wouldn't answer. I can't even remember who finally called and coaxed me into answering (those were the days of answering machines you could hear even if you didn't answer the phone), but when I did finally emerge, my internist prescribed Prozac. I took it and felt MISERABLE. I couldn't sleep at all, felt totally wired and was convinced I was being watched. I called the Dr. and shared my paranoia and complaints and he switched me to Paxil. I very quickly became almost narcoleptic, falling asleep at the wheel and nearly killing myself and some drivers around me while driving to work. Lucky for me, I only wrecked the car.

After that, he put me on Serzone. Now I could sleep, and at the proper times, but I lost all sense of "desire," be it for sex, food, entertainment, you name it. I felt pretty numb. I asked to go off it but he said no, that numb was better than self-destructive (apparently staying in bed is self-destructive, but driving in a drug-induced semi-coma is merely an "unfortunate side-effect"), and since I was still a person who thought doctors knew what they were talking about, I listened. I kept listening for almost two years, but I finally got sick and tired of feeling "blah" and decided to take myself off the medication. Thankfully I figured the Doctor warned me to take the pills as directed for a reason, so I told him I was going off, no ifs ands or buts, and needed to know what to do. He told me to wean myself off the meds gradually, so I did--very slowly cutting back the dose by cutting pills in half, then fourths, and then finally skipping them entirely.

My first week off I felt like a million bucks. I literally felt like I'd wasted two years of my life feeling NOTHING. Rather than simply offering me a half gallon of Haagen Dasz and some counseling, this doctor had "drugged" me out of my sadness, but had replaced it with something not much better. Sure, I didn't feel desperately sad, but I didn't feel anything else either.

My point is this: SSRI drugs might really be helpful IF (and I stress IF) the doctors who prescribed them were:

• 100% sure that what was ailing the patient was chemical imbalance of the SSRI nature


• able to test exactly how out of balance you are


• able to prescribe the precise dose of "balancing" drug for your particular imbalance


• able to tell if and when your body corrects itself so as to lower your dose


• able to control how patients take the drugs to ensure they don't do it wrong--taking double doses by mistake, or forgetting to take a dose or two


• able to predict how different people will react to going on or coming off the drugs which--let's face it folks--are MIND ALTERING SUBSTANCES!

Yes, it's the dark little secret the upbeat ads don't include--that these drugs affect your neurotransmitters in your brain. They literally alter your BRAIN chemistry, which in turn alters what you think, feel and (here's the kicker) DO. In short, not some simple happy pills you can pop when life deals you a low blow or a sad turn.

Of course I'm speaking completely out of turn since I have no clue what this woman's motive may or may not have been, but I'm making a prediction that we'll be hearing the word "depression" before the investigation is over, and if that's the case, I'd bet meds were involved in her bizarre behavior.

Either that or her friends, family and neighbors didn't know her AT ALL.

Posted by insomnomaniac at March 24, 2006 6:12 PM | TrackBack