insomnomaniac

Mallrat Poison

This story has me FUMING. A mall just north of here in New Hampshire has done something they shouldn't have had to do, they've instituted a curfew for unsupervised kids under the age of 16.

I cannot fathom why any parent would simply "drop-off" their 12 or 13 year old (shit, even a 15 year old) at the mall, without any adult supervision AT NIGHT. What parent would think this was a GOOD thing to do? Let's see...It's nighttime, dark outside, my kid is too young to drink, smoke or have sex, in all likelihood has enough homework to sink a ship (even on weekends--I'm talking "assigned" homework, not what they tell their parents they have or don't have), and yet for some reason spending two or three hours just loitering around a public place that is basically an indoor version of the public square is an "acceptable" use of their time in their parents' eyes?

Yeah, that's just what I want my daughter to do when she gets to that age--dress in belly shirts, mini skirts and flip flops, put on too much makeup and head out to a place where smarmy strangers can reasonably expect to find her unsupervised, bored and surrounded by peers of questionable morals and values just itching to influence her. She could meet up with who-knows-whom I've never met and approved of, maybe some weirdo with a God-complex she met online, or maybe just some slutty pseudo-friends whose parents I don't know who'll teach her the finer points of buying rubbers at the mall CVS so she can "do it" with her "boyfriend" (whom I also haven't met and don't know about). Or maybe she'll just hang out, doing nothing but coveting crap she can't afford--or worse, buying it with money she's stolen from our wallets (or that she's earned selling blow jobs to the hockey players at school). Worst case scenario, she could get one of the smarmy strangers who's been leering at her and her gal-pals to buy them cigarettes they can then smoke two at a time before heading off to the Gap to STEAL (or, as teens call it these days, "jack") a new outfit.

What the hell are parents like these thinking?

"I feel as though if I want to drop my kids off, I should. They're responsible," said Leann Newcomb of Lowell, Mass., who was shopping Monday with her 15-year-old daughter, Ashley.

Ashley agreed.

"I can come here and I can be fine without my mom," she said.

Stacey Donovan of Tyngsborough, Mass., said she always has considered the mall a safe haven for people.

"God knows what they'll be doing if they're not at the mall," she said. "To say it's not allowed is not the right answer. Let them have their place."

OK, first of all, the mall is not "THEIR place." The mall belongs to the mall company, in this case Simon Properties. The mall stores belong to the companies that own them, and they and only they "own" the right to say who should and should not be hanging around their property at night, during the day, whatever. In fact, what separates the mall from the public square is that as "public" as it may be in terms of lack of privacy, it's most definitely PRIVATE property.

Second, to the mom who says she should be able to drop-off her kids if she "wants" to, all I have to say is WHY DO YOU WANT TO?? Don't you want to spend time with your kid? Don't you wish she wanted to spend her free time doing something other than "hanging around" with a group of people you most likely don't know and never will know? Don't you WANT to know where she is (in more specific terms), there's lots of cars at the mall, how do you know when you drop her off there that she STAYS there?

I love parents who say their kids are responsible, that they "know" this when most likely the exact opposite is true! After all, how well can a parent "know" any teenager, much less one who's "dropped off" out of sight and out of mind (apparently) during the only time his or her parents are probably around to GET to know him or her? When are these "knowing" parents learning so much about their kids? While they sleep? Are they basing their assertions on reality or wishful thinking? I'm guessing the latter.

I'm sure for every parent who says their 15 year-old is "responsible" and has "nice friends" there's a dozen who will tell that parent that they thought the same thing, that is until they were called to the hospital to see their child in a coma having OD'd on "X" at a rave. "But I thought they were just going to a party with some friends? What's a rave?"

Or what about the parents of the "nice girls" who thought they "taught her better than that" but find out their 15 year-old daughter is pregnant anyway? "But I thought she was sleeping over at her friend Tammy's house" they'll tell you. Too bad she was sleeping at the Motel 6 with her "boyfriend" Chad instead!

I'm making up these stories, but I'm sure they aren't that far-fetched. Nevertheless, there seems to be no shortage of moms like the two quoted above. There's one simple reason these moms are so clueless: THEY CHOOSE TO BE. Why? Because they WANT their kids out of their hair. They don't want to deal with the reality of parenting. They want time to themselves, they want to BE kids in a way, free to do and say and be whatever they want, whenever they want, unencumbered by the responsibility they so freely endow their minor children with on a daily basis. Thankfully that irony isn't lost on the people at Simon Properties!

As for the mom who wonders what else these kids can do if not go to the mall for hours on end, all I have to say is, if that's a serious question on her part, then her child is EXACTLY the kind of at-risk kid I'm talking about! If these parents honestly think there's nothing better to do but shop and "hang out" when you're a teen, why should their kids think any differently?

Thankfully not all parents and not all teens agree with these whiners. One boy who said he agreed with the curfew put it best:
"What about the library? Doesn't anyone read books anymore?"

My question exactly!

Posted by insomnomaniac at April 23, 2005 4:02 AM | TrackBack